Various Other Ideas:
The 13th Mystery:
From the makers of such shows as Elimidate and The Fifth Wheel comes a show that will revolutionize dating television. Watch in amazement as 6 young attractive ladies and 6 young attractive men compete for the attention of One Indifferent Androgynous 80’s Rocker! All this and more in The 13th Mystery!
My So Called Wife
A normally well adjusted school psychologist subs for a Home Economics class the day after breaking up with his long time wife. In the midst of a mental breakdown he conducts the class with the structure of a Jerry Springer episode. Hey gives them a lesson in embarrassment, relationships, and evil linking all three and connecting their origins directly to his wife and women in general. Along the way he mortifies several students by utilizing their secrets and fears which he has learned through many private sessions. In the end he is dragged away on a golf cart as the school principal, his wife, assures the rest of the class that he will never return.
Grandma Interlude
The screen starts out black as three distinct sounds are repeated in rhythm;
“Slap…Thud…Ohhhwwww…Slap…Thud…Ohhhwwww…”
The screen fades in to reveal the bottom half of a rollerblading hockey player who skates over to a line of pucks. He swings at one of the pucks, shooting it into an unknown target.
“Slap…Thud…Ohhhwwww…”
The camera pans over to the goal where a very old lady is strapped to each of the four corners. She looks very down-trodden but still fighting and on her sweater it reads in large letters “SMILE”. The hockey player shoots another puck and it slams into the old lady’s abdomen.
“Slap…Thud…Ohhhwwww…”
The camera pans up to the back of the hockey player’s jersey to reveal in large lettering “NOD” with the number 00 underneath it. The hockey player then spins around and gives a large toothless grin. The screen fades to black.
“Snap…Snap…ohhh I’ll teach you a thing or two you little whippersnapper…This is how we did it in our day…”
“Oh please no…don’t lady I’m sorry I didn’t mean it…ahhhhhhh!”
“That’ll teach you!”