Ben's Sketches

Ben Piper


Stephen: The Half Man Half Vampire


This sketch opens with cool footage of a fight scene from either the movie Blade or Blade 2. The camera pulls back and watching the movie is Stephen a sick and pale young adult wearing normal clothes with a black cape. Stephen then proceeds to explain to the camera that like Blade, he too is half man and half vampire, however unlike Blade (who was born blessed with the best abilities of both world’s), Stephen is cursed with the weaknesses of both world’s. While Stephen craves blood, is allergic to crosses, garlic and sunlight, he lacks the super strength, flight ability, mind powers, and sharp teeth normally associated with vampires. This leaves him a sickly pale young fellow who is dreadfully afraid of vampire hunters looking to show their protégés the “ropes” by using him as an easy kill lesson. Stephen has no friends and is shunned by both humans and vampires as a genetic freak. The sketch ends like a public service announcement as Stephen pleads for blood donations and money (as he cannot work regular daylight hours). He also begs for a date if there are any interested Goth chicks out there. An announcer comes on and says “please with your generous donations, help this boy suck more. Thank you.” A star flies across screen with the words “The More You Know” as music plays.