BRAVEHEART WIRELESS
Characters: 8-16 M* *Women can be interspersed, but majority should be men.
Special Clothing: (M) WARRIORS: TRIBAL/CLAN RAGS, WOODEN STAVES, CLUBS, SWORDS, SHIELDS. BAREFOOT. (M) PRESENT-DAY CIVILIAN: BLACK TEE SHIRT, LIGHT JACKET, MATCHING KHAKIS, POLISHED SHOES.
Description: Battlefield where two sides of feuding warriors are staring each other down. Deep guttural British or Scottish accents. A line runs down the center of the battlefield and two opposing leaders stand near the line, each on his own side.
FADE IN:
See and hear shouting between the two opposing armies.
EXT: BATTLEFIELD – MEDIEVAL DAY
Two leaders step out to face one another. The armies behind them draw closer together and cease banter.
WEST LEADER
Get your stinking filth off our lands, or we’ll set on ya like a harsh winter!
(many growls of approval from WEST)
EAST LEADER
And I to you cast the same demand, plague on mine eyes. This land be ours upon me father’s soul!
(many growls of approval from EAST)
WEST LEADER
I soil between the stones of your father’s grave!
(The two leaders draw their swords and the two armies prepare to converge, when suddenly PRESENT-DAY CIVILIAN steps between them, cell phone to his ear)
PRESENT-DAY CIVILIAN
Can you hear me now? Good.
(The two armies raise a battle cry and begin bludgeoning to death, PRESENT-DAY CIVILIAN)
I’m gonna have to call you back.
(PRESENT-DAY CIVILIAN has been killed. His body lay in a bloody heap)
WEST LEADER
My overwhelming bloodlust has been strangely satisfied.
EAST LEADER
Aye, mine as well.
WEST LEADER
It’s getting late.
EAST LEADER
Aye, see you tomorrow at church then?
WEST LEADER
Aye.
(The two armies part, spirits high, feuds forgotten)